Friday, May 29, 2009

There's just no hope.....

The frustration has turned to sadness. SHE saw me. SHE smiled at me. SHE talked with me. SHE laughed with me. SHE touched my hand. SHE cannot be mine. I just want to go away and cry the deep, sad cry of despair.

Will I eventually become bitter? I hate when I am that way. Life is not fun right now. This is not an enjoyable ride. I feel this is more proof that life is random. There is no set destiny. Though, there are many cosmic potholes. Should we dodge the potholes or see what change they can cause? Maybe one will swallow me and take me to a better place. Maybe any other place is better. Life really is a crap shoot and I keep losing.

I am full of self pity that is beginning to turn into self loathing. My brain screams. My heart pains. My soul sinks deeper in to pit.

This cannot end well.

I close my eyes and see HER. I WANT to be with HER. I CAN'T be with HER.

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